Grief, Ghosts, and Goulash

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Hello, friend.

Is anybody else struggling to get back into the routine of things after the holiday season?

I mean—really struggling. Not the cute, “January is so hard” version. The real one. The kind where January shows up like a brick through the window.

I’ve had some extra things happen this month. My dog got sick. A family member died. And my knees are absolutely freaking killing me from the cold weather. So whatever fantasy version of “New Year, New Me” I may have briefly entertained packed up and left town early.

What I needed this week was something wonderful and easy. Something comforting. Something that didn’t require driving all over the valley looking for obscure ingredients while muttering to myself in the grocery store.

Enter: goulash.

Or…something like goulash.

Choosing the Thing That Would Not Fight Me

Confused yet? Yeah. Me too.

I ended up choosing to make goulash from Appetites (p, 51). It checked all the boxes:

• Beef chuck — easy to come by

• Carrots — easy

• Parsnips — doable (barely, as it turns out)

• Waxy red potatoes — abundant

• Roma tomatoes — good, though ripe ones can be a little tricky this time of year

• Green bell peppers — ubiquitous in any produce section

Now, about the parsnips: I found exactly one store that had one. And it was the largest parsnip I have ever seen in my life. Which is probably why this recipe made about double what I expected it to.

That, and the extra-large waxy red potatoes.

In hindsight—always with the hindsight—I should have cooked the rest of the chuck roast.

A Brief Aside in Praise of Grocery Delivery

As I’ve said before and will continue to say: the best thing that came out of COVID, in my opinion, was grocery delivery and pickup.

When I ordered a one-and-a-half-pound chuck roast, the shopper texted me: “The smallest they have is three and a half pounds.”

I told them to go ahead.

I cut it in half and froze the rest, but honestly? For the amount of stew this produced, I could have used the whole thing. What I ended up with was a mostly vegetable goulash with some meat—and it was still deeply satisfying.

The Vegetable Situation (A Love Letter)

This recipe is heavy on the vegetables, which I appreciated more than usual this week:

• One stalk of celery

• Two white/yellow onions

• Two carrots

• Two green bell peppers

• Three cloves of garlic

• Three Roma (plum) tomatoes

• Three waxy potatoes

• And a parsnip in a pear tree

The green bell peppers and tomatoes are held until the very end—added just five minutes before serving—so they stay bright and fresh. And they really are. It’s one of my favorite details in the recipe.

This is a stew that feels hearty without being heavy. Nourishing without being punishing. Exactly the kind of food you want when your body is tired and your spirit is a little bruised.

Bread Also Happened (Because of Course It Did)

I also made bread.

I don’t believe there’s a bread recipe in Anthony Bourdain’s cookbooks—but bread is not where I’d turn to him for expertise anyway.

For bread, I look elsewhere: Paul Hollywood (the bread god), The Perfect Loaf, The Sourdough Hoe (my new favorite) or, in this case, King Arthur Baking Company. That’s my favorite flour to use, and the recipe for a country French loaf itself was pretty easy.

I should have let it proof longer. That one’s on me. I should have started earlier in the day, because bread takes forever to rise in the winter. But even slightly under-proofed homemade bread is still delicious, and bread with goulash is always the correct choice.

The Paprika Problem

This recipe calls for an entire quarter cup of sweet Hungarian paprika.

Which, after Googling, I learned is apparently just…regular paprika.

I even bought a new bottle, because you’re supposed to replace paprika every six months. I dumped and entire ¼ cup of it into the pan with the onions and caraway seeds (which I also had to buy), stirred everything around in the hot oil, and waited.

Nothing.

No burst of scent. No bloom. No moment where you think, yes, this is my favorite part of cooking.

Maybe the paprika was old. Maybe it was weak. Maybe my expectations were too high. Who knows.

Maybe it just needs a spoonful of demi-glace.

What I do know is that tonight, when I reheat a bowl of goulash, I’ll be adding smoked paprika, one of my top favorite spices. Because my knees hurt, I’m tired, and I love sitting on the couch, watching the Brits murder and then arrest each other, with a hot bowl of stew.

And for now, that’s enough.

The Ghost, the Drinks, and Other Necessary Conversations

When I got home from my trip last week, the ghost was happy to see me—or so he said.

He even offered me a drink.

I told him thanks, but I had some of my fake tequila and would just make myself another Orange Corvette. After all, it has orange juice in it. That makes it a health drink.

He smirked.

“That’s right,” he said. “Anything with orange juice is a health drink. But there’s nothing like the real thing.”

I offered to make him one anyway. He declined. He already had his Negroni.

I’ve been reading about the Phony Negroni mocktails—a popular topic in the Anthony Bourdain subreddit —but I haven’t found one in the wild yet. They’re available online, but they’re pricey. And I’d like to taste one before I pay out $36.99 for a six pack. I harbor a deep suspicion of pre-mixed cocktails, alcoholic or not.

In a couple of weeks, I’m going to an Edgar Allan Poe speakeasy event—poetry, themed cocktails, themed mocktails, the whole thing. Dead people. Dead people drinks. I’m very excited to tell the ghost all about it.

He seems like someone who would appreciate Poe—like I do. Dark recognizes dark.

The Freezer Reckoning

At this point, I have three 32-ounce containers of goulash in my fridge. That’s after two servings for dinner. Plus a loaf and three-quarters of bread.

Some of it will go in the freezer—except my freezer is already full. Chili. Ham and bean soup. A bag of demi-glace ice cubes taking up valuable real estate.

One of my New Year’s plans is to clean out the freezer and actually use what’s in there instead of double-buying ingredients I already own. I’m sure there are things in there that would work beautifully with future recipes.

I am also certain—absolutely certain—that no matter how hard I look, I will not find any veal in there.

So…What Is Goulash, Anyway?

Goulash is a funny thing. A lot of people call anything “goulash” when it’s really just a fridge-clean-out dish—-with plenty of paprika. Which is fine. No judgment.

But what is true Hungarian goulash?

Anthony’s recipe is patterned after one he had in Budapest, prepared for him by a Gypsy singer—a word I’m not even sure it’s acceptable to use but that’s what is written in the recipe description. So I suspect this version of goulash is pretty close to the original spirit of the dish.

I’ve had plenty of goulash served over noodles or with elbow macaroni as an ingredient. Maybe those versions just didn’t include potatoes. This one didn’t need anything else. It was thick, chunky, satisfying, and genuinely nourishing.

The Simple Truth

This dish is easy to make.

Cut the beef into chunks and brown it. Add two chopped onions and cook until softened and beginning to caramelize. Add the spices—bay leaf, paprika, caraway seeds—then the garlic, diced carrots and celery. Add enough water to cover and simmer for 45 minutes.

Add the diced potatoes and cook another 20–25 minutes, until tender. Stir in the diced green pepper and peeled, diced Roma tomatoes. Cook five more minutes.

Serve with bread and sour cream.

Since it’s still cold outside, this is the perfect dish.

I’m sure it’ll taste even better tonight.

And that’s not nothing. In fact, at this moment in time, it’s everything.

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