Nine Pounds of Trouble

In partnership with

Hello, friends.

On Tuesday, I fueled up my car for a quick trip to my hair appointment (because when you’re hanging with a celebrity, you keep up appearances). The car promptly refused to start.

Fine. Cancel plans. Regroup.

The next day, the truck decided to join the rebellion—also refusing to start, despite running perfectly that morning. So I did what any sensible, red-blooded girl would do: had a nice, long conversation with a ghost about a relatively simple recipe using ingredients I could have delivered.

Last week, I mentioned wanting to make a braised meat dish. The ghost assured me it was still possible—better to go with pork shoulder, he said, than gamble on beef (aka “adult veal”) shanks still being in stock and not looking like crime scene leftovers. Also: pork is cheaper. We’re not even considering the veal shanks that would set me back $150–$300 shipped.

So, this week’s recipe: Braised Pork Shoulder with Fried Shallots and Pickled Vegetables (Appetites, p. 208).

It looks complicated—two full pages of instructions—but it’s actually one of the easiest Appetites recipes I’ve made. Also? One of the messiest.

Step 1: Brown the meat on all sides. Easy enough—unless you’re dealing with a nine-and-a-half-pound hunk of pork. I had a wooden spoon, two sets of tongs, and a giant meat slicing knife I was sure could rotate it. Spoiler: it was almost as big as the cast-iron Dutch oven itself, and the lid barely fit. At one point, the ghost went from laughing at me to dead silent as the knife started to bend in half while the meat sat smugly unmoved.

Clearly, the pan was too small. And I still had onions and garlic to fit in there. So I swapped the cast iron for my slightly bigger, taller HexClad Dutch oven—and that’s when the mess really began.

Once the pork was seared, I wrestled it out of the pot (somehow easier than flipping it). In went the onion chunks, twenty whole cloves of garlic, and slices of fresh ginger. Once softened, I added rice vinegar, a boatload of soy sauce (or coconut aminos, if you’re watching your salt intake), miso, and three cups of Coke—then slid the pork back in.

Braise at 300°F for at least four hours. I did five, because, well, massive roast. “Eight-ish pounds would have been sufficient,” the ghost said. I reminded him that I couldn’t exactly ring up a butcher for custom-size pork shoulder with 4 a.m. doorstep delivery.

Step 2: An hour before the pork was done, I quick-pickled cucumbers and red onion in white vinegar, water, salt and sugar. Then came the fried shallots.

Finally, a powerful CRM—made simple.

Attio is the AI-native CRM built to scale your company from seed stage to category leader. Powerful, flexible, and intuitive to use, Attio is the CRM for the next-generation of teams.

Sync your email and calendar, and Attio instantly builds your CRM—enriching every company, contact, and interaction with actionable insights in seconds.

With Attio, AI isn’t just a feature—it’s the foundation.

• Instantly find and route leads with research agents

• Get real-time AI insights during customer conversations

• Build AI automations for your most complex workflows

• Join fast growing teams like Flatfile, Replicate, Modal, and more.

Start for free today.

Step 3: Last week’s batch of the shallots was…less than perfect, so I adjusted: deeper pot, thicker slices (turns out “thin” is a sliding scale when hot oil is involved). Much better this time, though still nowhere near the 12–13 minutes the recipe promised.

Then I did something that made the ghost clutch his pearls: I microwaved a pre-made bowl of sticky rice. Ninety seconds. We locked eyes the whole time. The audacity! The judgment! Finally, he shrugged—admitting it saved me from dirtying another pan.

To serve: shred some pork, toss it with that absofuckingdelicious braising liquid, spoon rice into bowls, top with pickles and shallots.

At this point, I realized I had no counter space left. I had dirtied:

• Two large Dutch ovens

• One saucepan

• One large plate

• Two bowls (just for the pickles)

• Two sieves

• Three measuring cups

• Several mise en place bowls

• Two pairs of tongs

• One wooden spoon (slightly toasted handle)

• One spatula

• One perforated spoon

• One slightly bent meat knife

• Two meat shredder claws

• Various forks

• Two regular bowls

• My beloved Global chef knife

The dishwasher was full, and I still had to handwash the cast iron, the wooden spoon, and the chef knife. Oy.

We’ll be eating this for weeks—okay, probably once more (because I’m not good with leftovers). I will definitely make more pickles (DAMN, they’re good). Maybe add some pork to a nice bowl of ramen (still have some of those Black Shin packages), and freeze the rest. Pre-cooked proteins are a gift in summer—this pork would be killer on an Asian citrus salad or tucked into a quesadilla with pickled jalapeños.

Next week, the ghost and I are making New Mexico-Style Beef Chili, because it’s Hatch chile season and the local market is roasting them daily.

Until then, mis amigos—

Michelle

Real News for Real People — Not Partisans

Feeling like you want to get off the rollercoaster of polarizing politics? Read Tangle — an independent and nonpartisan political newsletter recently profiled on This American Life for helping to bridge the gap between politically divided families. Each day, the newsletter unpacks one important news story, examining it from all sides of the political spectrum.

Read it for free.