The Pork That Took a Pounding

In partnership with

Hello, friends.

I told the ghost we were having a guest this week.
“What should we make for dinner?” I asked.

Without hesitation: “Does he appreciate really good food?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“Then it’s got to be the pork sandwich. You know, the Macau-style Pork Chop Sandwich. (Appetites, p. 90)”

Perfect. “What do I need?”

“Pork chops. Bread. Panko.”

“What should we have with it then? Potato salad?”

“No. Too rich. The sandwich is big. Bigger than you think.”

“Okay…green salad?”

“Yes. In fact—make the Boston Lettuce with Radishes, Carrots, Apples and Yogurt-chive Dressing. (Appetites, p. 29)”

“Okay, sounds delicious.”

“What about an appetizer?” he asks, rubbing his hands together like he’s really excited about this one.

“I cannot eat an appetizer and a full dinner and still feel comfortable.”

He frowned. I sensed he was about to call me weak. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“What about the Grill Bitch’s Bar Nuts? (Appetites, p. 112)”

I made these a few months ago so I already know they are delicious and easy. “Perfect.”

So, as I usually do, I ordered groceries for pickup: four rib chops, radishes, a carrot, an apple, something approximating Boston lettuce, and 2.5 pounds of nuts. (The recipe calls for five pounds, but I don’t exactly have a bar crowd on standby.)

And white bread. But not the squishy soft kind. I opted for Dave’s Killer White Bread Done Right—because at least it won’t collapse into nothingness when confronted with a deep-fried pork chop.

Hydrated Skin. Deeper Sleep. One Daily Ritual!

Hydration Wasn’t Working—Until This

I thought I had hydration figured out—plenty of water, clean skincare, and electrolytes. But my skin was still dry, my energy dipped midday, and sleep? Unpredictable.

Then I found Pique’s Deep Hydration Protocol—a two-step, 24-hour electrolyte ritual that supports your skin, nervous system, and cellular function from morning to night.

☀️ B·T Fountain hydrates, smooths skin, and powers energy with ceramides, hyaluronic acid, and trace minerals.
🌙 R·E Fountain calms the nervous system and promotes deep sleep with bioavailable magnesium and real lemon.

In a week, I felt better. In a month, I was glowing.

✔️ Clinically proven skin actives
✔️ Deep hydration + clarity without sugar or fillers
✔️ Truly clean, spa-grade ingredients

Now I feel balanced, rested, and radiant—every single day.

Start your ritual with 20% off for life + a free gift:

Get 20% off for life

Some day, I’ll remember to add a note for my shopper: please pick cuts that are roughly the same size. To me, that seems obvious—ordering multiples of the same cut of meat almost always means they will be cooked at the same time by the same method. Therefore, the selected cuts should be about the same size and thickness. But apparently this is not obvious to everyone. Two of the chops were about an inch thick. The other two? Nearly twice that.

Considering I had to pound them to a quarter-inch thick, I preferred the thinner ones. Still, I pounded away until you could almost see through them. I complained to the ghost about the amount of pounding. He eyed my meat mallet and raised an eyebrow.

“This is your choice? A mallet with a dull knife as a handle?”

He’s not wrong. It’s thin, sharp, and I hate it. Into the recycle bin it goes. A friendlier one is on the way.

Chops flattened into submission, I made the marinade: soy sauce, black vinegar, rice wine, brown sugar, Chinese five spice, and garlic.

Black vinegar? I was pretty sure I had seen Iron Chef Susar Lee use it on TikTok, so I asked the ghost. “Asian market,” he said. (Note: Do not sub another vinegar. They are not the same.)

The shop had three brands. I picked the one that literally said “Black Vinegar” in English because I’m still working on my Chinese. Opened the bottle, took a sniff. Not bitter like other vinegars. Malty, rich, almost sweet. Tempting enough to pour into a shot glass.

And the smell of the marinade? Mouthwatering. As Anthony wrote in Appetites:

While the pork rested in its fragrant bath, I tackled the salad. Lettuce—easy. Carrot—easy. Radish—easy. Apple—hang on.

Think about the geometry of julienning a round object. Once you quarter and core it, you’re left with awkward wedges. I sliced horizontally, then sliced again into something long but not exactly skinny. Not a julienne. More like…apple confetti.

In hindsight, I should’ve dragged out the Butt Clencher, my mandolin (see note). Slice thin, stack, slice again, done.

Note: The first time I used it, I cut myself badly. Now, just touching it brings on a physical reaction."

Dressing: yogurt + fish sauce + olive oil + chives. Sounds terrible, right? It’s not. It’s bright, tangy, creamy. The kind of thing that actually makes bland lettuce exciting. And, as it turns out, the perfect foil for the chile paste on the sandwiches.

Then it was pork time. Dredge in flour, dip in egg, coat in panko. Slip into hot oil and enjoy the bubbles.

The recipe says five minutes per side. Mine took less. At this point I’m convinced the East Coast has different hot oil physics. Or maybe I should just buy a thermometer. Medium-high isn’t exactly precise.

While the chops sizzled, I chilled the bowls for salad and pulled out the gochujang—chile paste being the only condiment allowed.

Assembly couldn’t be easier: slice of bread, fried pork chop, whisper of gochujang, second slice of bread. Done.

They weren’t beautiful. But the taste? Unbelievable. Because I pounded the hell out of them, the chops were as tender as mortadella. The three of us ate every bite—sandwich, salad, all of it.

And now? I’m officially on the hunt for more recipes with black vinegar. Feels like a game changer.

Heads up: this post contains affiliate links. If you decide to buy something through them, I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Thanks for supporting my messy kitchen adventures!”

Travel-Ready Creatine: Peak Performance Anywhere, Anytime

Your routine shouldn’t stop when you’re on the move. Momentous Creatine comes in travel-ready packs of Creapure®️—the gold standard of creatine monohydrate, NSF Certified for purity and safety. No fillers. No artificial ingredients. Just proven performance. Fuel your best with Momentous Creatine. Use code HIVE for 35% off.

Pack. Go. Save 35%